Saturday, December 08, 2007

More on Stolen Moments

“Stolen moments are the times in which I feel guilty for not having done what I could have done”.

The above is a quote from someone who read the article on Stolen moments. After thinking for a short while, I realized that I may not have made the difference between lost or wasted time and stolen moments totally clear.

Lost or wasted time is what you feel guilty for not having done something "productive" when your plan did not work out. Stolen moments are what you can transform lost time into. For example, you may have an appointment with someone, but your car will not run. You find at the last minute that you can not do it, you can choose to fret and worry or feel guilty about not making the appointment. Alternatively, you can take that time that was suddenly freed up and do something for yourself that you did not have time to do. That is stolen moments. It is also possible to read a good book while waiting in the doctor's office, turning even the small blocks of time into Stolen Moments.

You may have to sit yourself down and give yourself a royal taking to in order to dispel the negative feelings you normally feel when plans go awry, but it is worth it. If you accept that there is purpose in the events we experience, that they are not just random hiccups, then you need to accept that your plans were canceled for a reason. You also need to look after yourself you will not be able to help others or do your work well. The things you do to contribute to your physical well being, mental and emotional health are not luxuries, they are necessities! My daughter has a saying that if mama not happy, no one is happy.

Mothers and type A personalities are the ones most often afflicted with the need to be productive at all times. Mothers will neglect their own needs in order to try to be the perfect parent. Type A personalities need to feel they are giving their all to whatever they need to do. Type A is also the one most likely to feel the Only Me Syndrome. Having been both a driven mother and a driven Type A, I speak from experience.

Meditation was the beginning of a return to physical and emotional well being for me. This does not mean that I will not get sick or become disabled. I can still suffer from genetic flaws, chemical imbalances, accidents and other ills beyond my control. What I can do is be the master of my reactions to life's ups and downs, I can achieve the best physical and emotional health I am capable of. I can avoid dragging myself down a self-destructive road. I can become happier and accomplish more with less stress and effort. We all can!


jon be me said...

Well put, Z

My wife has those only me syndromes and the need to always "be productive". We are opposites in that sense. On the other hand, she has finally realized that "productive" does not always mean you have to do something! It's a slow process but a change that leads to better health; mentally and physically.

Per the quote.... guilt is a huge factor in mental and physical disorders. Guilt can also change ones chemical balance which also leads to the above disorders. Myself, I believe that I am doing the best I can in each situation. I may not make the "best" choice, but I feel that the best choice was made at the time. Since I cannot turn back time, I do not feel guilty about my choices since they were the best I could choose at the time.... :)

jim said...

Stolen moments, stolen from uselessness, stolen from anger-causing sorrow, stolen from depression over what didn't happen, STOLEN means taken and turned to usefullness, and meditation, however you do it, is one excellent means of restoration and recovery before or after a fall.

Wonderful posts Zareba, you offer great advice and means, much love given!

Love and peace from me to you Zareba, here's to YOU!

Zareba said...

Thank you for your comments, Jon. I understand about opposites. My partner and I have known each other for almost 42 years and have been together for 37. We are truly opposites, he the hare and I the tortoise.

Now that you have fallen into step, you both will take great joy in the journeying together.

As for guilt, all we can ever do is to make the best choices possible with the knowledge we have at the time. What may be right now may well be different from what was right earlier on your journey. That will also change with time and growth. When we have done our best, guilt is a totally useless, paralizing emotion that holds one hostage. It's grip must be loosened and we must be free of it in order to continue upon our proper path.

I wish you joy in your journey.


Zareba said...

Beautifully stated as always, Jim. Thank you for your visit.

May peace and love live in your life.