In my youth, my temper was uncontrolled. The first guy who took me to a deserted road to tell me the "hereafter" story ended up in hospital… Later as a young mother, my temper was definitely not an asset. About that time, I stumbled on a book called The Teachings Of The Compassionate Buddha. Although not a Buddhist, I have worn out three copies of that little book. One of the first things I saw in it was this piece about anger. It grabbed my attention and was probably the beginning of my quest to understand and eliminate it as much as possible. Control was not my goal, as control is simply suppression, which still hurts the one experiencing the anger. Again, meditation was the tool that let me peer behind this ugly mask.
The Buddha On Anger
Let a man leave anger, let him forsake pride, Let him overcome all bondage! No suffering befall the man who is not attached to name- and-form! And who calls nothing his own.
He who holds back rising anger like a rolling chariot, him I call a real driver, other people are but holding the reins. Let a man overcome anger by love, let him overcome evil by good, let him overcome the greedy by liberality, the liar by truth!
Speak the truth, do not yield to anger, give if you are asked, even though it be a little. Beware of bodily anger, and control the body. Beware of the anger of the tongue and control your tongue. Beware the anger of the mind and control your mind. The wise who control their body, who control their tongue, who control their mind, are indeed well controlled.
The fault of others is easily perceived, but that of one’s self is difficult to perceive, a man winnows his neighbor’s faults like chaff, but his own faults he hides, as a cheat hides an unlucky cast of the dice. If a man looks after the faults of others and is always inclined to be offended, his own passions will grow.
You, yourself must make an effort.