Dichotomy

A recent comment here set me to thinking and clarifying my opinion.

I believe in both destiny and free will. A bit of a dichotomy, I realize, but we do have free will within the landscape we have chosen for a particular lifetime. I believe we choose the circumstances of each birth, depending on what we need to learn, or to contribute to the world. That is the map we are born with. That is destiny. Within this map, we may choose to go anywhere. We may follow the course we ourselves set, or we can change how we react in our world. That is free will.

For instance, I am a Caucasian Canadian living in the world as it is in the 20th and 21st centuries. I may act in any way I wish to events and circumstances in my life. I can try to live a life that helps to make the world a wee bit better place for my having been here, or I can ride rough shod over anyone in my way in order to get whatever I desire. I will also reap the rewards or punishments for the life I choose to live.

However, even if I wished it with all my heart, I can not become an Australian aboriginal, or a native of India, or change the birth circumstances I have chosen. I may well have chosen or will choose a different life map in another lifetime, but not in this one. I have already made those choices.

So, yes I do believe in destiny and I believe in free will. I also believe that "truth" evolves for each person. Our truth is the only true at a given point in our Journey. As we evolve in our spiritual understanding our truth changes with it. Growth requires struggle of a sort. We need to make an effort to rise above the easy path. The free will we have allows us to choose the easy way, the baser instincts, or to take the high road. There is nothing to force us to grow in any given lifetime. The choice is always ours.

As always, we learn from all that makes us think, and you make me think. It is the the comments that challenge our understanding which facilitates our growth. Thank you all for helping me grow.

Alone for the Holidays

My heart aches when family moves on and one is left alone on holidays.

My family has become much smaller over the years. Here in Nova Scotia, there is only my daughter and her partner. In Ontario where I come from, there is only my sister and her husband. Papatoes' parents are both gone, but he has found a sister and her family in New Brunswick. As you know, I have a large family "by choice" which makes the holidays more boisterous and full of love and new life. There is even a new granddaughter on her way early in the new year.

With so many families fracturing and scattering all over the world, it becomes even more important to have such chosen family. We of the older generation become surrogate grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and so on. It allows us to pass on some of what we have learned over the years, as well as providing a semblance of the old extended family for those without.

One of my fondest activities before Christmas is getting together with the little ones and doing baking for the holidays. The girls are so proud of what they have made and I have the opportunity to share.It is my firm conviction that our future rests in the hands of our children and if we do not invest in their upbringing, who will?

The Pity Tree

I was released from Intensive Care in the morning of Christmas Eve, 2005. Since my fate was rather unclear during that time, no real arrangements had been made for Christmas at home.

We always put our tree up and decorated it very close to Christmas since we keep it up until New Year's Day, which is not the same as the local tradition of erecting and decorating the tree around the end of November.
My DH and daughter scrambled to do a month's worth of preparations in one afternoon. They took off to find a tree lot that had any trees left at all. No success, but with hope they visited a distant neighbor who grows trees and usually has them for sale in his front yard as well as his wholesale business. All trees had been sold but he had banked his house with leftover trees and trimmings. He gave them one of them, a short, spindly, sad looking tree ..................... but our "pity tree" was the most beautiful tree ever, and they told me I was the best gift ever.

Each year the tree is the best ever, the food the most delicious ever, and the love in our home always feels like it is the most ever. I pray that each and every one has the opportunity to experience such blessings.

The Magic of Christmas

With the current economic crisis, Christmas this year will be difficult for more families than usual. I wrote this after Christmas 2005, when I returned from hospital on Christmas Eve. I was not able to either orchestrate or participate in the preparations for Christmas.Making Christmas.

Regardless of whether Christmas is a religious festival or a simple gathering and celebration of love and family unity, the important thing is to celebrate it in a way that brings joy to all involved. Almost all religions have a Celebration around this time of year, and even if one is not religious, my partner tells me that there is a winter festival called Festivus, which is the Festival For The Rest Of Us.

After all these years, a set of circumstances and a lot of contemplation brought me to the conclusion that the ability to make Christmas is not built into the genes, it is a learned skill, usually learned in the bosom of a family who makes Christmas as their elders did for generations, with updates on techniques, of course. Those who did not grow up under such circumstances, find it very hard to learn how to make Christmas. They have probably always gone looking for Christmas at friends and more distant relatives homes, or grown up hating Christmas.

For the first time this year, a whole series of stray thoughts fell together to create a picture of how Christmas is made. I have a very dear friend who never experienced really celebrating Christmas growing up, who has a hard time figuring out how to make the Holidays a season of love and joy. He used to get up in the morning and after breakfast, go visiting to find Christmas. Now in his older years, he has found himself in the position of having to struggle with making Christmas.With no memories of warm caring rituals, such as making special foods and meals, car rides to look at the lights, finding and decorating the tree as a family, or the fun and anticipation of having the family all together at this season, or picking and wrapping gifts he hopes will delight the recipient, he is at a loss as how to start making Christmas his own.

I grew up in the country, in a very financially poor family, however we did go all out to celebrate Christmas in the best way we knew how. We cut and dragged in our own tree, set it up in a pail of rocks and added guy wires so it would not fall over. We made popcorn garland, white tissue paper icicles, tinfoil glitter, and wood and pinecone ornaments, with a few treasured glass ones saved from year to year. We made fruit cake, aged it for 3 months in air tight tins and made cookies and special pancake breakfasts and a turkey for Christmas Dinner, the biggest one we could get so there would be leftovers for weeks. I no longer follow that particular tradition.

I don't believe it matters what the traditions are, as long as they are family traditions, filled with loving memories to be recreated each year along with the current year's tree, trimmings and new traditions.When my children were small, we made decorating the house a big deal, with every nook and cranny filled with glittering decorations, saved from year to year. As they grew, the amount of decorating was reduced until now, in my later years, we still do the tree, some table and wall decorations, and a small outside decoration at the door to welcome people in. Even when lights became available for both tree and outdoor use, it did not really appeal to me as growing up there were no lights. We now have lights on the tree, but still do not do the outdoor lights. We do, however always go for a car tour to look at all the outside lights that people put up and when we can, take pictures of the major displays. I always feel like a small child, eyes wide in wonder at all the light and color. I almost have to come home and put Alka-Seltzer in my eyes to calm the optical indigestion of having done so much looking.

In the natural progression of things, the children grow up, move away from home, but come home for the holidays with great anticipation of recreating the magic that was Christmas in their youth. When they marry, they blend the traditions of both families, to begin a new tradition of their own, and often spend Christmas Day with one family and Boxing Day with the other. Then when a new generation of children comes along, the young people begin having their own Christmas Celebration at home with the children, inviting the grandparents to come and participate, seeing the magic and wonder through eyes of children once more. At that point, the older generation has done its work and can sit back, do minimal decorating, minimal cooking then spend extra hours finding just the right thing to tickle the grandchildren on Christmas Morning.

As we age, the other thing that happens is that we lose loved ones from year to year, making Christmas a bitter-sweet time, a time of remembering those who have passed on as well as a time of making new memories for the younger generation. How we handle this will determine how the new generation handles it in future, so even this is an important part of the Christmas Tradition that we make.

Those who have children and do not know how to make Christmas, owe it to the next generation to find out, figure out, look around, whatever has to be done to learn to make Christmas, with new traditions, new rituals, new family processes that can be used to make Christmas for the children. There is a huge buffet of rituals out there to choose from if being totally creative is too difficult. If this is not done, they will not know how to do it when they grow up and the rituals of either hating the whole Holiday season or having to go to their friend's homes to find the Christmas Spirit are perpetuated.

May you all have a wonderful Holiday season and the New Year bring joy, health and success in all you do.

The Christmas Tree

You do know the important stuff .... and I am sure you will make new traditions with the kids as well as continue old ones that bring back happy memories for you. I would be delighted to read about your preparations, traditions and successful activities. We all learn by sharing and to share traditions helps others to find new traditions.

Getting the Christmas tree brings a smile to my face because it was always a big deal with us. Our daughter would go with her dad to choose the perfect tree. Sometimes it would be to a tree lot set up on some corner, sometimes a trip to the woods to choose just the right one, etc. Each tree had a story of it's own. My fondest memory of tree choosing is from the first Christmas we spent in this house, 22 years ago. We have about 30 acres with some cleared and some still forested. The weather that year was not the best, we had snow on the ground and a cold, wet drizzle falling from a leaden sky. Dad and daughter dressed in their warmest clothes with long johns or sweat pants under jeans. They hiked back to the edge of the forested area, saw in hand, and started to search for that year's perfect tree. After about half an hour of tramping through the wet snow with rain on their faces, they found just the right tree, cut it down and dragged it home. Back at the kitchen door, they realized they had hauled a 16 foot tree home, and that they were wet and cold to the skin. With some hot chocolate to warm their insides, they started to change into dry clothing. Our daughter had been wearing a pair of her dad's red sweat pants .... the color ran and she was dyed red from the waist down. With renewed zeal they went out to hack the tree into submission, removing about 6 feet of the bottom. Once set up in the corner of the living room, it was (as it is each year) the best tree ever. While decorating, they talked about where they had found this perfect tree, and we all realized that they had cut it from the neighbor's property. We had a rustled that perfect tree!

Your turn ....

Kids and Christmas

As we get peppered with the Christmas merchandise in the stores, we don't need that reminder, but we do need to think about Christmas for the kids.
I know it is difficult right now with all the financial uncertainty. Added to that, it is always a difficult time since it seems to hi-lite any dysfunction in the family unit, and what family unit does not have some dysfunction!

The stores drown us in musak and commercialism and if we are not aware, we can lose sight of what actually makes this Christmas magic. We are in danger of forgetting that we are the ones who have to provide it and what we teach them now will be what they remember and pass on when they are in charge of making Christmas.

I know that you who are parents and grand-parents, it can be a very emotionally and financially draining time. It does not have to be. We just need to remember back to the magic of our childhood Christmases.

Each autumn, I end up writing an article about kids and Christmas. If you would like, I can post them here.

To you who are parenting and dealing with all the difficulties that entails, I pray for a blessed Christmas filled with joy and awe.

Solo

The Missing Magic of Christmas (Written in 2006)

I am not hearing kids talking about making garlands for the tree, going to get the tree, making gifts, making decorations, any of those things that made the Christmas Season magical. I am not hearing about families looking forward to missing members being home for Christmas. Even for those who are not practicing Christians, Christmas is a season for celebrating the love of family and gratitude for all we have, of sharing with those less fortunate, remembering those who are far away and can not be with us at this magical season.

It is hard to believe that December is not yet here, but Christmas wish lists are everywhere. I am not sure when and how it became so commercialized, but I really dislike seeing the "Gimme" mentality at every turn. It is another symptom of the magic going out of the lives of children.

The big news items over the weekend are about Sunday Shopping, just in case 6 other days a week are not enough to buy all the stuff little Johnny wants for Christmas. Pressure is put on parents to get the latest and greatest toys, brand name clothing, and any other thing that a person can write on a wish list. If these items are not under the tree on Christmas morning, you are a bad parent, incapable of satisfying the needs of your children. If your children do not go to school with the right manufacturers label all over their clothing and book bags, your parenting skills are again brought into question. The kids who don't have these things are teased and put down by the "have" kids.

It is so prevalent that even charity has to come in extra large. Our local mall has a "Giving Tree" each year, where Social Services writes the first name of a child and his or her Christmas Wish gift on a card. You can take a card, buy the gift and give it to Social Services to wrap and give the needy child for Christmas. After reading through all the cards on the tree, I had to walk away unable to afford any of the gifts even for my own family. All requests came with brand names, all the brand names were at the top of the price field. It seems that if children do not go to school wearing the right clothes, carrying the right accessories, they are shunned by the ones who have it all.

My wish is the same as it is every year. To be surrounded by family, to have everyone home, safe and well. Only twice has this not happened. The worst Christmas ever for me was when my daughter was stuck in Montreal, the second worst, she was working and could not come home. We got up Boxing Day morning, packed up Christmas and took it to her. So it was the Worst Christmas Day but the best Boxing Day.

My daughter also feels that the most important thing is to be together and she looks forward to all the good food, good company and the love. It would not matter to her if there was nothing under the tree...and in the past, there have been years like that. The first Christmas we spent together was one of those, We gave my DH a pair of slippers, one from me and one from my daughter. It was so full of love that when we remember it, it is the love and caring that stand out, not the being financially so badly bent.

My DH is also happy when we can all be together, and looks forward to Christmas Brunch, which he is in total charge of. We always cook from scratch, but over the Holidays, we make an extra effort to make those things that are family favorites, require a lot of prep. and do not get made throughout the year. Extended family by choice also drop in over the holidays.

We have always made it a point of getting the larger necessities for Christmas plus a few small gifts. We always put together a large care package for our daughter, with food staples, personal care luxuries, and new and different foods to try. She says it is the most exciting gift, going through it on Christmas Morning. There is also usually someone who has no where else to go, who shares our Christmas with us.

Anything above and beyond these basics is great if it happens, but not at all necessary, or even missed if it does not.

It's ALMOST Too Late

With the season come thoughts of children in our culture. I have also thought much about the violence done to our children. The violence is fueled by people's desperation, among other things. There are so many now who are unable to support themselves, let alone a family. It will continue to get worse until some kind of balance is restored in our world.The children are our future at the same time that the magic is disappearing from their lives. If we do not work to bring it back, even the children are doomed to a bleak future. I have to believe that a balance will ultimately be reached, but the world as we knew it ended on 9/11.

If we take a lesson from history, we see that civilizations rise and fall, but the land endures. If it were not so, we would not have archeology. Each puts its stamp on the land, only to deteriorate into ruins or even oblivion. Sometimes a stronger civilization suppresses a weaker one, sometimes it has simply become so large that it has grown beyond its ability to feed its citizens, and sometimes we do not know what catastrophe has caused it's collapse.

We are part of the first global civilization and I believe we are near the collapsing point. A number of powers within our global civilization have already risen and fallen, forced down by others joined together for the purpose.If we are not to follow previous civilizations into oblivion, we need to change the way we see and treat our planet. As I have said so many times., our children are our hope for the future. We need to teach them by example to love and respect all our planet contains, as well as the planet itself. If we do not learn, the next world power will rise from the third world countries and we will be dust.

The reason I say this is that we have become so dependent on technology that can not continue to be supported by the finite resources that we are rapidly exhausting. The third world has not developed this dependence and can survive and grow in a low tech. climate. What are we doing to help insure the continuance of our world!!!

It is ALMOST too late for us.

The End of Days

With the anniversary of 9/11, my mind turns back to the state our world is in. Nothing has happened since that would make me change my mind. We lost our innocence on 9/11 and like the genie, can not be put back in the bottle.


The End Of Days

This was written in September 2002, in response to the predictions of total anarchy, the end of life on Earth and even the end of the Earth itself. People were stockpiling food, clothing, tools, weapons, anything they could imagine needing when they woke up tomorrow to utter destruction.
One of the first prophecies of the end times came from Nostradamus and had to do with the Jews going home, which they did a number of years ago. The Middle East has not settled down since. Another of his prophecies had to do with the mark of the beast on the forehead of a world leader, and was interpreted to mean the birthmark on Gorbachev’s head. Much was written about the bear and the eagle, possibly referring to Russia and the U. S., or perhaps China.
Even the book of Revelation in the Christian Bible referred to the end times in graphic detail. More of these prophecies are coming true with each passing day, the end of the world as we know it is more and more certain. Operation Desert Storm brought us closer to the end as did the American declaration of war on terrorism.
Iraq is heating up. India and Pakistan are at the ready and both have nuclear weapons, in part, thanks to Canada giving freely of our technology to make nuclear reactors to generate electric power. China is ominously silent. Both nuclear and chemical weapons exist in abundance. The ability to deliver such weapons anywhere in the world is an accepted fact.
The attack on the U.S. September 11th last year signalled the end of innocence and freedom as we know it. More and more freedoms are being taken away in the name of safety and the populace is accepting gladly these changes. The world economy is shaken to its very roots. The U.S. economy is heading for a very real, very drastic upheaval as the bills for the aftermath of 9/11 come due. The Japanese economy teeters on the brink. Even here at home, we lose services at a steady rate without making any real dent in the national debt. More of the world’s population slips below the poverty line every day. Starvation is no longer a Third World prerogative. It is happening right here at home.
Everywhere there are predictions of dire events, global warming, untreatable disease, floods, droughts, famine, earthquakes, destruction of our environment at an incredible rate, holes in the ozone layer, extinction of more and more species of both plant and animal life before they can even be catalogued.
I think it is obvious that if we do not succeed in wiping ourselves off the face of the earth, Gaea will have a flea bath and certainly reduce the number of Earth’s inhabitants drastically.
There is truly no way to prepare for what is to come. Because the course of history is cyclic, civilizations rising and falling, going all the way back to the decimation of the dinosaurs, Atlantis, Egypt, Athens, Pompeii, Rome, the Biblical Flood (a version of which exists in all religious histories), the European Dark Ages, the British Empire, the Russian Tsars, and now the USSR, Aztecs, Incas, and the list goes on, Life itself is in an eternal spiral of becoming, such that with every turn of the wheel, civilizations fall, but with something left over to begin again with, I believe our emphasis must be not on saving life, but on saving souls. Death, is the eventual outcome of all births, and as we know, death is simply a rebirth on another level. Panic is not called for; we are simply living in the end times of another civilization.
Because it has become truly a Global Village, we are much more aware of what is happening than in the past, which means that the general populace is privy to much more “News” than even twenty years ago. I am not sure I would want to survive, at my age, to greet a “Brave New World” where living simply is a must, with no medical services, no system of care for the elderly nor any of the modern conveniences that make life easier as we age. I believe that is the job of the young. There will certainly be survivors to repopulate the world and start the cycle once more. It would be hoped that these survivors would be much more spiritually aware than past generations.
Perhaps our responsibility lies in trying to make for a more enlightened populace. People are definitely searching for answers, for a better way, for connection with the Divine, the Creator, the Cosmic All. That is why so many Eastern Religions have taken hold in the West, among them Buddhism, Baha’i, Hare Krishna, Transcendentalism, Wicca, Native Medicine, Spiritualism, and any number of fakes allying themselves with the New Age movement. I see our role as one of bringing light to the dark recesses of the human condition, in all possible ways.

Hurricane Aftermath

Current hurricanes and events discussed recently in a news group sent my mind back over the past few years. As I looked back, tears filled my eyes and dread still fills my heart. This article has not lost it's meaning. In fact, the situation becomes more urgent every day. We all must do all we can to curb the current trends.

Hurricane Katrinas Aftermath

This was written after Hurricane Katrina, with all the attendant destruction and loss of life. In the case of Hurricane Katrina, the lack of early response and the attendant suffering and deaths make it very hard to come to grips with.

There is an old saying that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. There are no psychological profile tests given to the leaders we elect. We only learn the truth of their strengths and weaknesses after a catastrophe of such magnitude. Perhaps part of the blame for this is the Pollyanna attitude that “it will never happen to me”. Well, it can happen to anyone and is happening more and more everywhere. Last month, six commercial airplanes fell from the sky. There have been fires, floods, disease and all sorts of natural disasters piled on top of wars, political actions, rebellions and just plain anarchy.

I believe the world as we knew it ended on 9/11. Our innocence was lost, not to be regained. Until we stop ravaging our earth, the catastrophes will not stop. Until we use better judgment in our elected leaders, more and more people will be lost each time.

If we don’t soon start to deal with the roots of the problems, it surely will be the end of the world. Civilizations rise and civilizations fall, but never before with such devastation to our planet.

There is no sane way to view what is happening. Every thinking person on the planet is experiencing feelings of helplessness. We give until it hurts, then give a little more, but it is never enough! If we don’t find a way of thinking about these things, and doing what we can, we will collapse into madness trying. When I think about how different my world was as a child, the change is staggering, and happening so rapidly that I can not even catch my breath. Today’s children will live as adults in an even more changed world.

The only thing that saves my sanity and allows me to get up each morning and do whatever little thing I can, is the knowledge that there is a higher power, a higher purpose, that we cannot even begin to understand.

My role, my life can only be counted as a success if I bring positive change in the world that I touch. This is a very small world, but if we do nothing, it will rapidly become smaller. Individually, we cannot effect any great change for the better, but as an army of voices, perhaps we can at least lessen the damage by even a small amount.

Our children are our hope. We need to pay attention to them, try to raise them with an understanding and an appreciation for nature, life in general, and our fellow human inhabitants. Magic filled my world. We had no money, but we had so much love. The things I learned at my grandparent’s knee have lasted me all my life. The little, seemingly unimportant things, make the biggest impact. Who knows what ripples are caused by little acts of kindness.

An example of this is seen in my grandmother’s philosophy, that she lived by all her life. I lived with my grandparents for quite a while as a small child. They lived in a small clapboard house on a quarter acre of land cut from the public fairgrounds, built for my great, great, grandmother who was the first white woman in that small village.

They had been farmers, and my grandfather hunted, trapped for furs and did some blacksmith and carpentry work for a little money. In their golden years, when they could no longer farm, they moved into that little house with no electricity, or running water.

In fact, there was no water, it had to be dipped from the well across the street, and carried home by the bucket full. They grew a small garden, had chickens for eggs and Sunday dinner, a cow for milk, and a pig for winter meat. A neighbour half a mile away lived with an alcoholic husband and struggled to feed her children. Many times, my grandma would dress me as warmly as possible, wrap a cape around me and send me off with a basket of eggs or a quart of milk or a pound of butter for this lady and her children. As a result of my grandmother’s example, I have always tried to be open handed, giving away the last of what I had on more than one occasion. The Creator has always looked after me, not often providing what I wanted, but always providing what I needed, usually at the very last moment.

As I said, magic filled my world, but these days, magic has almost disappeared from the lives of children. Any time we can return some of that magic to them, we are helping them to grow up dreaming big, trusting in the Creator to provide, and having an open heart and an open hand in their dealings with the world. We cannot know what ripple effects it will have, only that it will be good.

And this is the last one for now

This is the tree and wild rose where the fairies live! At least it looks like they should.

And Summer

These were taken in late June and July

Summer Pictures

We took pictures of everything as it bloomed so we would have a record of this magical summer.

The Time Has Come

the walrus said
To speak of many things
Of aging and of moving
Of cabbages and kings.

It is a difficult thing that we must do. After 22 years here, it is time to move on. We believed we would end our days here, but life has other plans. We need to downsize and take our Time Warp to a spot easier to look after, single story, only a couple of acres, but still in this general community.

The house is too big to look after and the landscaping that I put 20 years into is looking forlorn. It needs younger blood to take up the torch and work along side Gaia to continue making it beautiful. As hard as it will be to leave, it would be harder to watch the degeneration of what we have worked for.

When we moved here from the city in 1986, I was able to bring a little of most of the plantings I had there. They mean so much to me because it is a friendship garden and many of the plants came from friends who are no longer here. When I look around I remember the giver as well as enjoying the tangled garden. My young neighbor across the street will keep and care for whatever small bits I can take from here, until I have a place to plant them.

I know how blessed I am. I know that this is just a transitional state, and that all will be well again. I believe we all pass through various emotions when we have big changes in our lives. I share mine so that others need not go through the same thing believing that they are alone. Time passes, things change, we cling then we let go.

Our refuge, The Time Warp will move with us. It belongs to us, not a specific place. A young friend named it The Time Warp long ago because she checked her worries at the end of the driveway and felt renewed by the time she picked them up again on her way out.

Everything that can bloom, has done so this summer. Mother Nature has thrown me a farewell party beyond compare. It has been a magical summer in so many ways, but as with everything we treasure, it costs. The head knows there is nothing to struggle with, but sometimes it takes a while for the heart to catch up. My heart hurts! but I will be OK.

I would like to share some of that farewell party here.

Many Small Miracles

add up to one really big one. Often the small miracles go unnoticed until they collect into that huge one. Even then, the nature of the event can be misinterpreted.

When we desire something so strongly, we attract events to ourselves that aid in achieving our desire. I believe that desires that benefit only ourselves or are harmful to others will not attract the small miracles that lead to the achievement of those desires. They will, in fact attract negative events into our lives. The Law of Attraction states that if we do good, we attract good. The opposite also holds true.

When more than one person desires the same thing, the results can be magical. We often call it Refrigerator Magic because we put a picture of our desired result on the fridge and think about is briefly whenever we open the door. When we leave the refrigerator and continue with our daily routine, we in effect, send our desire out into the ether where it is free to attract what we need to realize our desire. This is a form of petitioning the Creator as we picture our desire being an accomplished fact, then let it go as if mailing it. This happened most recently in my life last month .

Almost ten years ago, I met two wonderful women on line, Over the years, we three became very close friends. When I was in hospital intensive care in April, 2006, Many people, both on line friends and in person friends sent prayers and healing thoughts which helped a great deal and I appreciate every one of them. But these two went a great deal farther. Every day that I was in hospital, they did everything in their power and more to ensure that I would come out again. I owe them a very great deal.

We had often discussed our desire to meet, but so much stood in the way that none of us really expected it to happen. The events of April 2006 proved to be the catalyst that brought our desire to a heightened level. We began to practice Refrigerator Magic with a vengeance. When they reached out to help me in hospital, the picture I saw in my coma was of a white iron table and three chairs, with the three of us sitting around it, them telling me that I could do this and that they would help me. Later, when I shared that event with them, they realized that they had succeeded. One had the strength and the other had the training. My Florida friend provided the image that I saw because she knew it was a familiar image. There was a real place quite similar that we had discussed sitting together over coffee and talk and talk.

In July of 2006, my Quebec friend traveled to Nova Scotia and we celebrated our birthdays together. We had come to know each other so well that it was a reunion, not a first meeting. It was wonderful. The only fly in the ointment was that our friend in Florida was not with us in person. There appeared to be no way that our dream of all being together could be realized, but we continued to wish with all our hearts that it could happen. In 2007, no meting was possible but ……

In July this year, WE DID IT! We all met in Quebec and it was even more wonderful than we could have imagined/ Our time together was short, but we had already become so close over the years that we did not need time to get to know each other’s hearts. We simply reveled in each other’s company.

Many small miracles had to happen in each of our lives for our dream to be realized. Here is what happened in my life to make our meeting possible.

It had been many years since I asked the Creator for anything more than strength and wisdom for myself. I believe that if we live our lives to the best of our ability, we will be granted what we need to do so. Often it takes little miracles that we don’t even notice in our everyday lives but I have always had a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on the table, not always in a manner I would have chosen, often at the eleventh hour. but my faith has become strong because of it. Wonderful things have happened too, and I am eternally grateful for all of my life.
After again passing through the mist and being allowed to return in April 2006, I doubt that I will be allowed to do so again. There is not a great deal that I desire from life but I did petition the Creator for four things.

1) An electric scooter to allow me to move around freely without someone having to push me in a wheelchair or sitting and waiting while others did what I can no longer do. Last fall, after a year long battle, I received approval from my group insurance company for a far superior scooter than I had asked for. The scooter arrived last fall, but I was not able to make full use of it until this summer.

2) A dependable vehicle to carry the scooter without having to disassemble it then reassemble when we reach our destination. reassemble it when we got where we were going. That is important to me as I do not want anyone else to have to lift the parts in and out of the trunk of the car. I could not bring myself to expect that whenever I wanted to go somewhere. When Revenue Canada’s collection department phoned me about an outstanding balance, they ended up pointing out that I had claimed a particular deduction up to 1992 but had not continued. They gave me the information as to who to contact to request a review of my file from 1993 to 2006. Ultimately, they reassessed the years of 2004 to 2006 and the refund was sufficient to purchase a used minivan and recondition it completely.

3) To see my birth sister who ended an almost thirty year estrangement (her choice) while I was in hospital. My daughter had telephoned her. and my sister explained that she had wanted to re-approach for a long time but was afraid that I would not accept her back. The decision was always hers, but she did not realize it. We re-approached by telephone and then kept in touch weekly by instant messenger. I could not truly believe she would not disappear again until I received a box of Christmas gifts, wrapped and decorated with tree ornaments like we always used to do. I sat and cried tears of relief and joy that my baby sister was once again in my life. I did not see any way that I could see her since she was in Ontario and I in Nova Scotia. In February, I answered a knock on my door and she was standing there. As I hugged her, tears of joy flowed freely once again. She and my daughter had conspired for her to take a long weekend and fly down. My daughter picked her up at the airport and brought her home to me. We had only the weekend, but what a wonderful weekend it was. We can not go back and recapture lost years, but we can pick up in the present and go forward again.

4) To see my chosen sisters, the one in Quebec again, and the one in Florida for the first time. My friend in Quebec was house hunting and when she found one she wanted, we all posted pictures of it on our refrigerators. She got the house. While looking for furniture, she found a white iron table and three chairs just like I saw in my coma. When she sent pictures, we immediately put them up on the fridge and started visualizing ourselves sitting in them, around the table. With having the dependable minivan and my doctor’s approval, we were all set to go, but no money for gas. Revenue Canada to the rescue again. They sent me a refund for 2007 that was just what we needed to fund our trip. All of my birthday presents were cash and given before the trip. Gas prices also dropped the day after we began our trip. My friend in Florida arranged to meet us at the new home of my friend in Quebec. My daughter volunteered to house sit with our birds for the week and my young neighbor said she would help with the birds. The weather stayed cool and damp, just what I needed for my COPD. My partner cheerfully purchased and refurbished the minivan, did all the driving, played chef and did so much more make the trip a wonderful and memorable one. It was a perfect week.

I had no reason to suspect that any of these events would happen, and if I had not desired the results so strongly, I probably would not have recognized these little miracles for what they were. These and the ones in my chosen sister’s lives added up to one huge, wonderful miracle for all of us.

When our desires are strong and benefit others as well as ourselves, great magic can be performed in our lives. If we are unaware, opportunities go unrecognized. This applies equally to finding and following our individual path in life. We attract what is needed to further our growth, but if we do not see these opportunities, we can not utilize them.

Meditating in a Group or Group Meditation

It has been my experience that when one meditates in a group of people with similar desires and beliefs, the meditation process becomes stronger and deeper. This is similar but stronger than the intensity one experiences in Holy places, churches, certain places in nature, etc. It is not necessary to follow a particular process. Each may meditate in his or her own way, simply absorbing the higher vibration generated by the group. People who engage in silent prayer within the structure of their spiritual services experience this same heightened awareness.

The jury is still out on guided meditation. If the guide is good, strong and pure of heart, it can be a wonderful experience . It is like one is riding the crest of a wave. If not, it can be either a neutral or negative experience. Music and/or chanting have also been useful in deepening the meditative experience.

Some learn to meditate simply for the physical and emotional benefits. Others are seeking a deeper meaning of life and their role in it. I believe that most groups seeking spiritual growth through meditation welcome all who wish to meditate with them, and require nothing in return. This is a way to benefit from group meditation as well as to learn about the particular spiritual path. There are Buddhist groups who host weekly meditation sessions in many localities and they do not require any change in one's beliefs in order to simply meditate with them. I believe the Society of Friends also welcome others to sit with them. A search on Google will produce more such groups if anyone is interested in exploring this area.

Sacred Places

Some places on Earth will feel more sacred than others. You can often feel the sacredness of these places because of what has happened on them. (excerpt from a Native American Elder's Meditation)

Since I have been working on an article about meditating alone or in a group, as well as meditating in sacred places, this meditation immediately spoke to me.

It does not matter how the places became sacred, only that those who used these places had a sacred, holy purpose. The temples, chapels, churches, cathedrals. mosques, monasteries, special spots in nature, in short all places may hold this sacred vibration. One does not need to belong to any particular religion or faith to feel the sacredness of such places, and use their power to intensify the meditation experience. It is only necessary to be open to the higher vibration these places come to hold.

Many years ago, our family went camping as we often did. There was a small chapel in the woods at this camp ground. The edge of the clearing was ringed with simple wooden benches. Sunday sermons were held there, alternating between a number of different faiths, as well as a number of summer weddings. There was a feeling of incredible calm, a peacefulness that was even more pronounced than what one generally feels when in the embrace of natures beautiful places. Meditation came naturally there. Nothing happened that would disturb a meditator, should one be meditating there.

I have also been in a broad cross section of formal places of worship. The same sense of holy tranquility was in all. They were all very conducive to deep meditation, prayer or worship, regardless of one's spiritual beliefs.

Another place that confirmed my belief in the sacredness of places that have been used for sacred purposes is a very old, small cemetery, overgrown and almost unrecognizable. What made me notice it was a feeling that I had a glimpse of an old man, sitting on a small stool, talking quietly to no visible person. When we went to investigate, we found a small, humble grave with a well kept wooden cross for a marker and a rickety old stool, ready to collapse at any moment. The area was filled with such love and peace that I had to linger and let the sense of that place wash over me.

We are all capable of sensing such holy places and reveling in their special tranquility. We are are also capable of shutting down the ability to sense anything, the choice belongs to each one of us.

What's Important

I have been writing almost all of my life, at least 50 years. In that time, I believed that only the spiritual growth articles were important. There are others out there who believe the same, as indicated by which posts generate the most interest and comments.I now believe I was wrong!

Each of us is a complete person, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We need to accept that and promote growth and balance in all areas.This entails much more than I have covered in my posts and articles on Balance. While that particular form of balance is very important, we must also nurture and grow our understanding of all facets of ourselves, and humanity in general.

When I write, I don't consciously think about what I am writing, but I do read what I have written when I am finished. Since I mull a topic over in my mind for quite some time before I am sure what I think abut it, I seldom need to change anything by the time I get to the writing part. Many of the questions I contemplate are those which have affected my own life, and many stem from questions or comments by others.

Our physical presence, this body, mind and heart that houses our spiritual selves is part of this world and part of daily life in it.In order to progress along our path, we need to deal with daily life. There are many things in daily life that can cause us to stumble if we do not confront them. For example, the terrible illness that can happen to us or to those we love, or the attempt to distinguish between the various guises love takes or the other emotions that disguise themselves as love.

Life is full of challenges here on this plane and if we avoid them, we can not progress on the spiritual plane either. We create so much static in our minds that important things are drowned out. Not all things on this plane are painful or difficult. There is much pleasure and joy to be had if we are open to them.

Someone asked me if there were any truly happy people. After thinking about it for a while, I had to answer truthfully that Yes, there are and I am one.In the depths of my being I am content. I enjoy the pleasures this world offers, nature's beauty, loving and being loved, children's laughter .. there is so much that brings joy and happiness.

If one does not deal with the negative things, the pain, misunderstanding, depression, illnesses, failed relationships ..then it becomes almost impossible to find any joy in life. Unfortunately, many of the problems people grapple with fall into the "not to be mentioned" category. That is why I so often find myself writing about cancer, menopause, the aging process, depression, death and a number of other things that people don't feel comfortable confronting.

It's all important.

Menopause-The Process of Croning

Recently I was asked for some advice on menopause. After thinking about it, I realized that menopause was another one of those taboo subjects for many of us. Since I follow the "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" school of thought, I just started typing a reply, and my editor (my partner, bless him for being in my life) gave me the seal of approval. So here it is.

The onset of menopause signals the beginning of the croning process. As we produce less and less estrogen, we enter this phase. It usually lasts about ten years from start to finish. We go through both physical and mental changes, and often become an emotional yo-yo before we settle into the new stage of our lives.

Along with the hot flashes we can experience depression, elation, anger ........ magnifying problems we already have and adding new ones as well. This too settles down with time. Mentally, it seems that we are likely to experience the same "symptoms" as our family members. Some of us breeze through the process with little or no problem. Some have such a difficult time that they take oral estrogen to suppress both physical and mental "symptoms". That only postpones the inevitable, and if one is at risk for cancer, hormone therapy is out of the question. We gain weight with ease, but lose it only with the most intense dedication. The more overweight one is, the more estrogen is stored in the fatty tissues and the process of losing it from our bodies is much more gradual.

Our bodies change shape. I have even known some who develop asthma and allergies for the first time in their lives. We may lose a lot of our hair and skin elasticity as we loose the battle with gravity and sexual feelings may either fade away or become more pronounced. This depends a lot on whether we wanted more children. If we did, we get tangled up in society's belief that we have lost our value. If we did not, we can experience a resurgence of these feelings, knowing we will no longer be able to become pregnant. I think we have all known someone who jumped the gun and ended up with a "change of life baby". In order to continue to enjoy lovemaking, we may need to ask our doctor's help to slow the physical changes.

Men also often experience a reduction in sex drive with age, or addiction or prescribed medication and may not want to discuss it, again because of society's expectations. If our partners are experiencing this, we often blame it on ourselves, believing that our new stage of life makes us undesirable. The makers of Viagra and other such drugs are making a fortune from men who can not accept their aging process. This is the time in our lives that being best friends is most important. The love and affection we feel for each other can get couples through even this.

Menopause is another one of those things that many people are uncomfortable with. If it were more accepted, we as women would not go through much of what we endure during menopause. I'm not sure what I can add to this, but I will answer any questions honestly and to the best of my ability.

Some time ago, I wrote the article below because of this lack of acceptance.


On Croning

On this journey through life, there are both events and processes, events so great that they shape and mold our understanding of self, processes so subtle that we are almost at the end of one before we appreciate the fact that it has started at all.

A friend asked me what I meant by “croning” and I had to take a step back from my own life and view the process of moving from Maiden to Mother to Crone. Of all the life processes, this one is, perhaps, the subtlest, the most obvious and the most miss-understood.

Much human lore revolves around these three incarnations of the female deity. She is revered in all of her phases, however our society is so youth oriented that women passing through these stages tend to be dismissed out of hand when they reach the age of croning.

The Maiden is revered for her fresh faced innocence and her budding body, preparing to enter the Mother stage. The Mother is revered as well, for her ability to provide continuity of the male genetic lineage, and for providing proof of male virility.

We can slip from Maiden to Mother without any more than a passing ripple to mark the transition. The Crone, however, is dismissed as no longer able to fulfill the duties that the male dominated, youth oriented society has assigned her.

This puts her under a microscope of her own making, seeing each gray hair, each early sign of menopause, each battle lost to gravity as making her less and less useful to society, her life less and less meaningful. At the very time where she should be celebrating her new found freedom to focus on her own spiritual growth, her own path, her new insights that makes her gifts to society more meaningful, she is filled with feelings of failure, uselessness and alienation.

Instead of resuming her personal spiritual journey, she suffers from the Empty Nest Syndrome. Instead of sharing her hard won knowledge with the younger generations, she spends time at a fat farm trying to recapture lost youth. Instead of taking her place as a matriarch in her family, she beats a path to the plastic surgeon.

Our society loses much in not valuing the croning process or the Crone

Looking Within

Looking Within

If you could look within yourself
You would find the answer
To every question you have ever asked
And more, much more.

If you could be so quiet
You could hear your toenails grow,
The knowledge of the universe
Is there for you to know.

Your inner self is but a part
Of all that is and was
And ever will be.
You are IT, could you but see.

Turn you eyes and ears inward,
Look within your soul, listen to your heart,
Recognize your rightful place
In a Universe of love.

World Wide Disaster

In line with my post about the Aztec predictions, this is a letter I sent to a student in September of 2008.

I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to respond to you. I had not realized you were off line until you sent the email from the library. I will try to respond to your correspondence chronologically, and send it both email and snail mail. Your vacation certainly sent you into a tail-spin. It will take a while to get back on a more even keel. If you persevere with meditating, the ego will ultimately stop fighting you and it will help.

Although you feel like your are being pulled back into the old role, it is no longer your purpose. You have been chosen to work to help bring light to those striving to find it. There will be great need for light, and those of us who can carry a light and a mirror are needed now more than ever before. I know it will be hard to extricate yourself from the old things and the old battles, but others will take up those causes. You are needed for the future..to help those who will be the future to find their own inner light now.

I'm not sure what you are asking when you ask if there is a council above the watchers and those in the Cathedral. All is One and One is all. When we merge with the Sitters, we are indeed part of the One in every way.

When you ask me what I know, I am reminded of the letter I wrote to Linda in 2002 and sent a copy to you because you were both very drawn into world wide disaster scenarios at the time. I responded to Linda's question with some thoughts on what is to come and the particular aspects that I have been aware of for many years.

One of the first prophecies of the end times came from Nostradamus and had to do with the Jews going home, which they did a number of years ago. The Middle East has not settled down since. Another of his prophecies had to do with the mark of the beast on the forehead of a world leader and was interpreted to mean the birthmark on Khrushchev's head. Much was written about the bear and the eagle, meaning Russia and the U.S., or perhaps China. Even the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible referred to the end times in graphic detail.

Many of these prophecies are coming true, and with each passing day the end of the world as we know it is more and more certain. Operation Desert Storm brought us closer to the end as has the American declared war on Terrorism. Iraq was heating up again even back in 2002, India and Pakistan are at the ready and both have nuclear weapons, in part thanks to Canada giving freely of our technology to make Nuclear Reactors to generate electric power. China is still ominously silent. North Korea keeps rumbling. Both nuclear and chemical weapons exist in abundance and the ability to deliver such weapons anywhere in the world is an accepted fact. Africa is starving and plagues and pestilence, including Aids are spreading through the world.

The 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center signaled the end of our innocence and freedom as we know it. More and more freedoms are being taken away in the name of safety and the populace is gladly accepting these changes. The world economy is shaken to it's very roots. The American economy is heading for a very real, very drastic upheaval as the bills for the aftermath of 9/11 come due. Now on top of that, the costs for the Afghan and Iraqi wars, and disaster relief for the victims of the Tsunami and Hurricane Katrina are beyond comprehension. The Japanese economy teeters on the brink. Even here at home, we lose services at a steady rate without making any real dent in the National Debt. More of the world's population slips below the poverty line every day. Starvation is no longer a third world prerogative. It is happening right here at home. Everywhere there are predictions of dire events, global warming, untreatable disease, floods, droughts, famine, earthquakes, destruction of our environment at an incredible rate, holes in the ozone layer, extinction of more and more species of both plant and animal life before they can even be cataloged.

I think it is obvious that if we do not succeed in wiping ourselves off the face of the earth, Gaea will have a flea bath and certainly reduce the number of earth's inhabitants drastically. We are seeing the beginnings of such loss of life even now. There is truly no way to prepare for what is to come. Because the course of history is cyclic, civilizations rising and falling, going all the way back to the decimation of the dinosaurs, Atlantis, Egypt, Athens, Pompey, Rome, The Biblical Flood (a version of which exists in all religious histories), the European Dark Ages, the British Empire, the Russian Tsars and now the USSR, Aztecs, Incas, and the list goes on.

Life itself is in an eternal spiral of becoming, such that with every turn of the wheel, civilizations fall, but with something left over to begin again with. I believe our emphasis must be not on saving life, but on saving souls. Death is the eventual outcome of all births, for as we know, death is simply a rebirth on another plane. Panic is not called for, we are simply living in the end times of another civilization. Because it has become truly a Global Village, we are privy to much more "News" than even twenty years ago. I'm not sure I would want to survive at my age, and with my health problems, to greet a "Brave New World" where living simply is a must, with no medical services, no system of care for the elderly and no more conveniences that make growing older easier. I believe this is a job for the young.

There will certainly be survivors to repopulate the world and start the cycle once more. It would be hoped that these survivors would be much more spiritually aware than past generations. Our responsibility lies in trying to make for a more enlightened populace. People are definitely searching for answers, for a better way, for connection with the Divine, the Creator, the Cosmic All. That is why so many Eastern Religions have taken hold in the West, for example Buddhism, Baha'i, Hare Krishna, Transcendentalism, Wicca, Native Medicine, Spiritualism, as well as a number of fakes allying themselves with the New Age movement.

I see our role as one of bringing light to the dark recesses of the human condition, in all possible ways. I have been quietly doing my part as assigned by the One for most of my adult life. I realize there is much here that we have not previously discussed, and probably a lot of questions. I

Someone wrote me very recently about the fact that help was so slow to arrive for the victims of Hurricane Katrina, the poor leadership offered by our elected officials and the suffering that has been so severe. I would like to share with you, my reply to her as well. There is an old saying that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. There are no psychological profile tests given to the leaders we elect. We only learn the truth of their strengths and weaknesses after a catastrophe of such magnitude. Perhaps part of the blame for this is the Pollyanna attitude that "It will never happen to me".

Well it can happen to anyone and is happening more and more everywhere., Last month six commercial airplanes fell from he sky, there have been fires, floods, disease and all sorts of other "natural" disasters piled on top of wars, police actions, rebellions and just plain anarchy. I believe that the world as we knew it ended on 9/11. Our innocence was lost, not to be regained.

Until we stop ravaging the earth, the catastrophes will not stop. Until we use better judgment in our elected leaders, more and more people will be lost each time. If we don't soon start to deal with the roots of the problems, it surely will be the end of the world. Civilizations rise and civilizations fall, but never before with such devastation to our planet. There is no sane way to view what is happening, The feelings of helplessness are being experienced by every thinking person on the planet. We give until it hurts, then give a little more, but it is never enough! If we don't find a way of thinking about these things, and doing what we can, we will collapse into madness trying.

When I think about how different my world was as a child, the change is staggering, and happening so rapidly that I can not even catch my breath. The world today's children will inhabit as adults, will be even more changed, and even more rapidly changing. The only thing that saves my sanity and allows me to get up each morning and do whatever little thing I can, is the knowledge that there is a higher power, a higher purpose, that we can not even begin to understand, and that my role, my life can only be counted as a success if I bring positive change into the world that I touch. That is a very small world but if we do nothing, it will rapidly become smaller still. Individually, we can not effect any real change for the better, but as an army of voices, perhaps we can at least lessen the damage by even a small amount.

Our children are our hope, we need to pay attention to them, try to raise them with an understanding and appreciation for nature, life in general, and our fellow human inhabitants. We had no money, but we had so much love . Magic filled my world. Anything was possible! The things I learned at my grandparents' knee have stayed with me all my life.They had been farmers and my grandfather had hunted, trapped for furs and did some carpentry and blacksmith work for a little cash. In their golden years, they had nothing, a little old clapboard house on a quarter acre of land deeded to my great great grandmother as she was the first white woman settler in that small community. There was no electricity, no running water, in fact no water at all (it had to be dipped from the well across the road and carried home by the bucket full.) They grew a small garden, had chickens for eggs, a cow for milk and a pig for winter meat. A neighbor, about half a mile away, lived with an alcoholic husband and struggled to feed her children. Many times, my grandmother would dress me as warmly as possible, wrap a cape around me and send me off to Mrs. Lott's with a basket of eggs, or butter, or milk, or bread. As a result of my grandmother's example, I have always been open handed, giving away the last of what I had on more than one occasion.

The creator has always looked after me, not often providing what I wanted, but always providing what I needed...usually at the very last moment. The little, seemingly unimportant things, often make the biggest impact. The best way to teach is by example. As I said, magic filled my world, but these days, magic has almost disappeared from the lives of children. That magic is so very important in shaping who they become. One of the most priceless gifts we can give the children is to give them back the magic. That will allow them to grow up dreaming big, trusting the One to provide and having an open heart and an open hand in their dealings with the world. The ripple effect of such small deeds can be unbelievably huge.

In summary, I see our work as carrying a light and a mirror through our world, helping all those we can, to find their way back to their path, and to bring a little magic back into the lives of the children who touch our lives. We are protected by the One, whose work we do. We need no other armor or weapons but truth and light. We are as nebulous as mist in this world, not really here, not of it, only doing our work in it. Others will deal with the things of this world, the fight between good and evil, whose battleground is this earth, this earthly life. We must work to prepare those who will come after to be able to lead in the right direction. They will be brought to us by the One when they are ready to return to the path.

I know this is a lot to absorb all at once, and there will be questions and points needing clarification. I also know that you are taking baby steps, new in this very important work, but you will be able to do it. You would not have been chosen if you could not. Hold to that thought when you are feeling fragile, and know that the One is with you. With love and companionship on the Journey