Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Balance-The Emotional Pillar part 1

We need to interact with others, learn communication skills, share knowledge to keep the mind working well. Without this, we can not search for what will make us whole. We become stagnant, stuck in the same old rut with only vague feelings of something missing, which leads us to the emotional pillar.

If we can not identify what we are searching for, we can make unwise decisions and choices in an attempt to fill that void. We can form unhealthy relationships, fall prey to extortive cults, suffer from long term depression, even become unable to function in our world.

When looking at our emotional selves and determining how to bring that pillar into balance with the others, we often come face to face with the fact that we do not love and cherish ourselves right here, right now. Over the years, we have been subjected to a great deal of negative criticism. It slowly seeps into the center of our being, leading us to believe we are not worthy. The reasons may vary. We may have come from dysfunctional, abusive homes. We may have done poorly in school or in sports and been criticized for not excelling in everything. We may have become entangled in an abusive relationship or marriage where we have seen no way out. We may suffer from depression, either full blown clinical depression or sub-clinical depression, which may go undiagnosed for years. The reasons are as varied as the people who suffer from this low self-esteem.

The first step in reclaiming our Selves is to recognize that there is a problem. We have a right to feel good about ourselves. As it says in Desiderata “You are a child of the universe, you have a right to be here.” It may be necessary to seek out someone to talk to, a family doctor, a counselor, a minister or even a close friend or respected family member. Breaking the silence may be one of the most difficult things to do. We tend to build high walls around our hearts when we feel vulnerable. There are now many help groups, both in the community and on the Internet, aimed at providing mutual support. The most difficult part is to isolate and acknowledge the problem. Finding the help we need hinges on accepting that we need help. Until we learn to love ourselves, we can not expect others to love us. People tend to treat us in the way that we expect to be treated.

This body, this mind, this heart, this physical presence is the temple in which the spirit resides and deserves to be loved, respected and cherished. Until the temple receives the attention it needs, we can not begin to search for the questions we need to ask in order to find our proper path and begin the Journey meant for this lifetime.


Paul said...

I agree completely - and as you suggest, lack of self love has its roots in childhood. Without a foundation of self love, we're unable to fully express our potential to love others.

Sophia said...

Bad childhoods can really mess a person up!

Receiving love from others is always a blessing, but to truly feel love, we must learn to love ourselves.

Don Iannone said...

Much wisdom here, Z. My blessings to you, and thanks for being a light in the world.

Zareba said...

Paul, it is incredible that children grow up to be as good as they are. We receive no training, knowledge or advice...in effect, it is as easy as adopting a puppy. By the time we learn the ropes and have even half a chance at being a good parent, the kids are bringing our grandchildren to visit. We then spoil them and return them to their parents, who don't really do any better than we did. Life is incredibly resilient!

Zareba said...

Sophia, we actually must learn to love ourselves if we are ever to love another. Without that foundation of self love, we will repeat a pattern of failed relationships over and over again. I have jokingly called it "being seriely monogamous" but it is really no joke.

If we do nothing for ourselves in this live except learn to love ourselves, we will progress a good ways down the path. Everything flows from love. Love is really all there is.

May you love and be loved.

Zareba said...

Don, delightful to find you here as always. Thank you for yourcomments. As you know, I try very hard to walk my path with a light and a mirror.

Blessings to you and to your work as well. Your poetry touches souls that would not be available to "straight talk".