Monday, December 25, 2006

Making Christmas

Regardless of whether Christmas is a religious festival or a simple gathering and celebration of love and family unity, the important thing is to celebrate it in a way that brings joy to all involved. Almost all religions have a Celebration around this time of year, and even if one is not religious, my partner tells me that there is a winter festival called Festivus, which is the “Festival For The Rest Of Us”.

After all these years, a set of circumstances and a lot of contemplation brought me to the conclusion that the ability to make Christmas is not built into the genes, it is a learned skill, usually learned in the bosom of a family who makes Christmas as their elders did for generations, with updates on techniques, of course. Those who did not grow up under such circumstances, find it very hard to learn how to make Christmas. They have probably always gone looking for Christmas at friends and more distant relatives homes, or grown up hating Christmas.

For the first time this year, a whole series of stray thoughts fell together to create a picture of how Christmas is made. I have a very dear friend who never experienced really celebrating Christmas growing up, who has a hard time figuring out how to make the Holidays a season of love and joy. He used to get up in the morning and after breakfast, go visiting to find Christmas. Now in his older years, he has found himself in the position of having to struggle with making Christmas.

With no memories of warm caring rituals, such as making special foods and meals, car rides to look at the lights, finding and decorating the tree as a family, or the fun and anticipation of having the family all together at this season, or picking and wrapping gifts he hopes will delight the recipient, he is at a loss as how to start making Christmas his own.

I grew up in the country, in a very financially poor family, however we did go all out to celebrate Christmas in the best way we knew how. We cut and dragged in our own tree, set it up in a pail of rocks and added guy wires so it would not fall over. We made popcorn garland, white tissue paper icicles, tinfoil glitter, and wood and pine cone ornaments, with a few treasured glass ones saved from year to year. We made fruit cake, aged it for 3 months in air tight tins and made cookies and special pancake breakfasts and a turkey for Christmas Dinner, the biggest one we could get so there would be leftovers for weeks. I no longer follow that particular tradition. I don’t believe it matters what the traditions are, as long as they are family traditions, filled with loving memories to be recreated each year along with the current year’s tree, trimmings and new traditions.

When my children were small, we made decorating the house a big deal, with every nook and cranny filled with glittering decorations, saved from year to year. As they grew, the amount of decorating was reduced until now, in my later years, we still do the tree, some table and wall decorations, and a small outside decoration at the door to welcome people in. Even when lights became available for both tree and outdoor use, it did not really appeal to me as growing up there were no lights. We now have lights on the tree, but still do not do the outdoor lights. We do, however always go for a car tour to look at all the outside lights that people put up and when we can, take pictures of the major displays. I always feel like a small child, eyes wide in wonder at all the light and color. I almost have to come home and put Alka-Seltzer in my eyes to calm the optical indigestion of having done so much looking.

In the natural progression of things, the children grow up, move away from home, but come home for the holidays with great anticipation of recreating the magic that was Christmas in their youth. When they marry, they blend the traditions of both families, to begin a new tradition of their own, and often spend Christmas Day with one family and Boxing Day with the other. Then when a new generation of children comes along, the young people begin having their own Christmas Celebration at home with the children, inviting the grandparents to come and participate, seeing the magic and wonder through eyes of children once more. At that point, the older generation has done its work and can sit back, do minimal decorating, minimal cooking then spend extra hours finding just the right thing to tickle the grandchildren on Christmas Morning.

As we age, the other thing that happens is that we lose loved ones from year to year, making Christmas a bitter-sweet time, a time of remembering those who have passed on as well as a time of making new memories for the younger generation. How we handle this will determine how the new generation handles it in future, so even this is an important part of the Christmas Tradition that we make.

Those who have children and do not know how to make Christmas, owe it to the next generation to find out, figure out, look around, whatever has to be done to learn to make Christmas, with new traditions, new rituals, new family processes that can be used to make Christmas for the children. There is a huge buffet of rituals out there to choose from if being totally creative is too difficult. If this is not done, they will not know how to do it when they grow up and the rituals of either hating the whole Holiday season or having to go to their friend’s homes to find the Christmas Spirit are perpetuated.

And that is my Christmas Rant for this year. May you all have a wonderful Holiday season and the New Year bring joy, health and success in all you do.



samuru999 said...

Thanks for sharing that!
Very special!
I have such wonderful Christmas memories...very special memories of the happy Holidays spent with my family....
but, my mom died on Christmas Day...6 years Christmas has a sad connection for me now!
But, I will always love Christmas!

Hoping you are having a lovely Holiday!
May the New Year bring you peace, love and joy!


Zareba said...

Margie, unfortunately one of the draw backs of growing up is that the older generation passes on. It makes so many of our celebrations bitter-sweet. I personally had a very close call last Christmas and again in April of this year. The result has been that I AM the Christmas gift for my family this year.

I would like to think that when I do pass on, my family will keep most of the traditions we have shared and add new ones to them, keeping me in their hearts and in their Christmases yet to come.

Wishing you all the Blessings of a wonderful new year with new memories. ...Z

samuru999 said...

There can be no better Christmas gift than the gift of you!
A blessing indeed!


Zareba said...

Hi Margie, drop me an email if you have the time. ...Z

Don Iannone said...

Merry Christmas Z. Hoping you have peace and the strength you need in the New Year. Namaste!

Don Iannone said...

Thanks Z for your holiday wish. Peace to you.



researcher said...

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Zareba said...

Reasearcher, thanks for droppping by. I am always happy to share what I have learned and experienced if it will help someone else.Please contact me with a valid email and we can discuss what you have in mind.


BJ said...

Christmas represents many things to many different people. I love that it offers a time for people to care about important things or people or relationships that may have waned previously. I pray that we can live that aspect of Christmas long after the red and green fade. Bless you!