I had a minor melt-down after the car left us stranded in Bridgewater before Christmas and when it did so again just before New Year's Eve, the melt-down was more severe. It just all got to be too much and I was flooded with a feeling of helplessness that I haven't felt in well over 30 years.
The chimney still needs to be fixed, the kitchen roof needs to be replaced, the barn and shanty need to be torn down for safety reasons. The car problem is intermittent and we can not find what it is so it is not dependable, and our locked in financial situation has no solution. I just could not see a way out. However, one at a time, solutions are being presented to each problem.
In being so involved in the here and now, I forgot that when I do everything I can to be the best person I can be, the Cosmos looks after my needs. It certainly does not provide everything I would like, but it has always looked after what I needed, often just in the nick of time, but I have always had enough to eat, a roof over my head and clothes to wear, in addition to being blessed with so much love and caring.
Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus.
December 11th, 2008
and my, how things have changed. For a start, I am still here and holding my own against all odds.
The miracles since I wrote the above piece are staggering. So often we dismiss the good things, the miracles, and dwell on the negative, sitting on our pity pots in the dark, not realizing we can get off the pot, open the door and walk out into the sunshine.
The chimney has been fixed. The roof has been fixed. Almost all of the materials from the fallen barns are gone. We have a new used vehicle which works very well. I have an electric scooter which allows me more freedom. We were able to go to Quebec in July to spend some time with two ladies who are very, very important to me. We have obtained new financing which will sustain us for some time to come.
Eve after all these years, I still forget to count my blessings, and return to my pity pot far too often.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008