Forgiveness

Forgiveness is very hard to do, it is right up there with I'm sorry. In fact I think it may be harder to forgive than to apologize, but it can be done. It has to be learned if we do not want to go through life with a heart full of bitterness and anger. It does not mean that we forget totally. The open wound does heal and become a scar. The scar is always there but it no longer hurts. Many things wound us over the years, and we must learn to let those wounds heal, for our own benefit if not for others.

Again, meditation can be of great benefit when we are clearing out the old pains and angers. In order to be healthy, we have to be aware of our emotions and work through the negative ones, replacing them with understanding and forgiveness.

Below is an article that I saved some time ago which I believe is useful..

Why Should I Forgive?

Think of forgiveness as a gift that you give to yourself. It is not something you do for the person who hurt you. It is a gift to yourself because it enables you to stop feeling painful feelings and pushing others away. Forgiveness frees you from anger and allows you to restore your ability to have close and satisfying relationships with others.

Anger is a poisonous emotion that comes from being hurt. When you are consumed with anger and bitterness, it hurts you at least as much as it hurts the person who has harmed you. It is as if you are filled with poison. If these feelings are not resolved, they can begin to eat you up inside. You have two choices: to stay connected to the person who hurt you by keeping these poisonous feelings alive, or to let the feelings go and forgive the person who harmed you. When you withhold forgiveness, think about who is actually being hurt. It is more than likely that the person who is filled with anger and anxiety is you, not the other person.

What Forgiveness Is Not

Forgiving another does not mean you will never again feel the pain or remember the thing that hurt you. The hurtful experience will be in your memory forever. By forgiving, you are not pretending the hurtful behavior never happened. It did happen. The important thing is to learn from it while letting go of the painful feelings.

Forgiveness is not about right or wrong. It doesn’t mean that the person’s behavior was okay. You are not excusing their behavior or giving permission for the behavior to be repeated or continued.

When you forgive another, it does not mean you wish to continue your relationship with them. This is a separate decision. You can forgive a person and live your life apart from them.
Forgiveness can only take place because we have the ability to make choices. This ability is a gift that we can use it whenever we wish. We have the choice to forgive or not to forgive. No other person can force us to do either.

http://www.creativecounselors.com/articles/forgive.htm

Forgiveness Revisited

With all the thoughts of love and loved ones filling the air, my mind turned to forgiveness again. So many people have been torn apart by inability to forgive and move forward.

It appears that forgiveness is like a fish bone. It sticks in the throat and chokes many who want to forgive but just can't mean the words. I used to thing that "I'm sorry" were the hardest words to say in the English language. I may be wrong. It seems to be "I forgive you" and mean it.

We don't forgive for the benefit of the one who has hurt us, we do it for ourselves. Anger, bitterness, resentment, vengefulness are all emotions that hurt the one playing host to them. They poisons our minds and hearts, making it impossible for us to truly enjoy life.

Rather than repeat myself, I will post two short articles I wrote on the subject a while back and a follow up written recently. If you do not have a problem with forgiveness, please feel free to skip the next three posts. ☺

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi left his body behind on Tuesday February 5th, 2008. He was 91 years old and had lived a very full life.

Although I had not thought of him for a long time, I do owe him a debt of gratitude. Many years ago when I was in my early twenties, he was active in Toronto, teaching about the benefits of meditation and a specific method that would bring results fairly quickly if one practiced it for twenty minutes twice a day. I was intrigued because I had a stressful life as well as a stressful career at that time. I was also hosting a very large stomach ulcer. I attended the lecture then received my individual meditation instructions. There was a follow-up a few weeks later to check and make sure the instructions were being followed. This was my introduction to meditation and it's benefits.

Although I did not follow his Path, it is because of him that I found my own Path.
Much has happened since then, but meditation carried me through the ups and downs in my life and kept me on my Path when I would have given up. I have learned a great deal, found out I know even less and kept my feet firmly planted most of the time.
...Z