Saturday, November 04, 2006

Vegetable Soup

Written many years ago when life was in one of its major lows. We all go through these dark nights and endure until the new dawn, which always comes even when we do not believe it will ever change.


Vegetable Soup

I feel afraid because he is slipping
Into nowhere and maybe he can’t stop.

I see both his beauty and his need, and
I feel helpless because I can’t help him
To hang on and find his way back.

I feel protective because the world is a cold,
cruel place that does not recognize his worth.

I feel exultant when he has a good day.
I feel hopeful that tomorrow will be better.

I feel anger at the world for hurting him,
And at him for letting it.

I can’t understand where he is and why
He can’t just come back by himself.

I feel inadequate in the face of the demands
put on me by my love for him.

I feel responsible in some way,
But I don’t know what I should be doing,
Or what I may have done.

I feel his pain and my frustration because
I can’t give him my strength.

I feel despair that “Someday” may
Never come and today is so long.

I feel empty because I gave all I have
And it isn’t enough.

I feel impatient because sometimes I forget
That he can’t help what is happening
And I want my needs met too.

I feel guilty because I feel angry, impatient,
Frustrated, inadequate and
I know that is not the answer.

But most of all, and through it all,
I feel love and acceptance for him
Because he IS, and that is
all that really matters.

4 comments:

jim said...

Excellent writing Z. This is LOVE, this is the problems of universal HUMANITY, this is a universal posting, I feel it very deeply, and I know others do as well.

Good to hear from you. Peace and Love to you Zareba, always, may God bless you fully and deeply and in LOVE.

Anonymous said...

A good backrub works wonders.

After a depressive period a few years ago (lack of sense of purpose) I decided that purpose is overrated and that just being is sufficient unto itself. My thoughts are with your friend.
Peace

Anonymous said...

Beautiful poem Z.

Zareba said...

Thank you all for your comments and encouragement. I have not been here nearly as much as I would like to, but I hope that will change as I get stronger and get my life in order again.