On Living and Dying and Living Again

Two weeks ago, I was again on the other side of the mirror, for the third time in as many months. When I was talking with my daughter and told her I was sick and tired of crossing back and forth through the mirror, she reminded me of a conversation we recently had about processes and events. I believe we are born (an event), then we live our lives (a process) until we die (an event). It is certainly possible to look at it in the opposite way, that dying is a process, but if we choose to see it that way, we spend our whole lives from birth in the process of dying instead of the glorious process of living.

The first time I crossed over to the other side, I was 21 years old, in hospital and very, very ill. During a particularly difficult surgery, I found myself watching the procedure from a corner of the operating theatre in a very detached manner. After some time, it dawned on me that I had obligations, including a daughter under 6 months old. I also realized that I had a choice as to whether to stay on the other side of the mirror or return here and live out the life I had planned before this birth. If I chose not to return, I would be both avoiding my responsibilities and setting myself up to have to learn the lessons meant for this life, in another down the road. Since that did not appeal to me, I decided to come back and finish what I had started. Once the decision was made, I found myself back in that pain wracked body, coming out of the aesthetic too soon.

Each time I have had the choice, I have ultimately chosen to return and complete the tasks set for this life. This most recent time, someone very close to me reached through the mirror and walked back with me every step of the way. You know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is one of the most selfless acts one can perform, to lend their strength to another.

Death is simply a rebirth on the other side, which ultimately leads to rebirth here once we have reviewed the life just lived and set the course for the next one. Nothing in my experience changes that belief. It would also seem that I still have some unfinished business here in this life. Perhaps it is to share what I know, what I have learned, what I believe and what I suspect.

When we rediscover a truth, the feeling inside is so strong that it leaves no doubt in one's mind, even if there is no obvious proof to offer. For this reason, if for no other, we must look, listen, read, explore, search, think, whatever we can do to open ourselves to new experiences, new ideas, new thoughts. All truth is within us, just waiting to be rediscovered. We simply need the tools to be able to remember and recognize it.

We each have our own path to follow, our own truths to rediscover, our own Journey and no one can do it for us. We can help each other by holding a mirror and a light, a mirror so others may see their truths reflected in it and a light to illuminate the path at our feet so me may not stumble on small unseen obstacles.

The greatest obstacle is fear. Even though there is nothing to fear, we have been taught to treat the unknown with fear and suspicion. Often, fear of unknown feelings or feelings of not being in control even prevent us from even learning the basic techniques of meditation. In meditation, we stop deliberately generating thought processes or listening to them. This frees the mind, but causes such trepidation in many people that they are unable to allow it to happen. I wish I had a magic bullet that would remove all ungrounded fears, particularly where meditation is concerned. It is the single most useful tool in finding and following our own individual path, finding our center, that calm in the eye of the storm that allows us to reconnect with our spiritual selves and relearn our truths.