Vegetable Soup

I feel afraid because he is slipping into
nowhere and maybe he can't stop.
I see both his beauty and his need, and
I feel helpless because I can't help him
to hang on and find his way back.
I feel protective because the world is a cold,
cruel place that does not recognize his worth.
I feel exultant when he has a good day.
I feel hopeful that tomorrow will be better.
I feel anger at the world for hurting him,
and at him for letting it.
I can't understand where he is and why
he can't just come back by himself.
I feel inadequate in the face of the demands
put on me by my love for him.
I feel responsible in some way,
but I don't know what I should be doing,
or what I may have done.
I feel his pain and my frustration because
I can't give him my strength.
I feel despair that "Someday" may
never come and today is so long.
I feel empty because I gave all I have
and it isn't enough.
I feel impatient because sometimes I forget
that he can't help what is happening
and I want my needs met too.
I feel guilty because I feel angry, impatient,
frustrated, inadequate and
I know that is not the answer.
But most of all, and through it all,
I feel love and acceptance for him
because he IS, and that
is all that really matters.